The Indie band known as the Imagine Dragons has without a doubt been my favourite band for almost a year now, and if you know anything of them or their music you might recognize the title of this post as a blend of two songs from their Night Visions album, Radioactive and Demons. For me their music intertwines the struggles of depression with a sense of optimism and as such was one of my strongest anchors throughout my trials during 2013.
I first came across the Imagine Dragons when a friend was listening to their most popular song Radioactive. It was 2012 and I was struggling through a chemistry lab report with no idea what was really happening, I spent a couple days struggling through the work nearly ripping my hair out, playing Radioactive on repeat and the chorus became a sort of mantra for me "this is it the apocalypse, I'm waking up I feel it in my bones enough make system glow, welcome to the new age.. I'm radioactive, radioactive". I was never a fan of chemistry but it was an essential part of my desire to become a doctor or scientist and so I suffered through it with the attitude that it would not beat me. And I did overcome chemistry and its struggles during first term, passing the course with a respectable grade.
I was about halfway through second term in first year when Demons became the new theme song for my life. I had just experienced the sorrows of my first break up and was struggling to keep up with school when my life felt like it was falling to pieces. "Don't get too close its dark inside its where my demons hide" "I can't escape this now unless you show me how" "when your dreams all fail.. and the bloods run stale", and these lyrics became my new mantra as I struggled with the reality that my dream of becoming a scientist or doctor was neither where I was headed nor what I wanted do.
The last straw for science came shortly after reading week following a chem lab which will forever be ingrained in my mind, not because of its experiment but because of how inexplicably boring it was. The experiment required me to watch a little metal magnet shaped like a pill spinning around until a colour change in the chemicals occurred, I never understood what the experiment's purpose was nor do I expect will I ever understand it. That was the last chem lab I ever went to and about a week later I dropped chemistry altogether.
Not long thereafter I left science completely when I realized university level biology held no real interest for me during a genetics class that felt more like statistics. Which brings me academically to where I am today, a second year liberal arts student listening to the Imagine Dragons and working towards an entirely new dream of becoming a history professor.
If you're in science or math or engineering or business or even arts and you feel as confused as I did or if you just want to share you're experience with changing career goals feel free to comment, I'm full of advice on switching programs and faculties and would love to hear any of your other stories!